Who to follow?

There are alot of forums and social networking media around. Alot of avenues for people to give their viewpoints, give feedbacks, gossips, vent their frustration about certain issues etc. I do visit a few eg STOMP. I read the posts that people put up. Quite a number of posts were dissatisfaction about how people behaved insensitively or how they went against rules and regulations.

Today I saw this survey on STOMP.
Will you tell someone off for eating or not giving up their seats on the bus and MRT?
1. Yes, they need to be taught a lesson!
2. Yes, but in a firm, polite way.
3. No, but I'll stare at them and wait for someone else to do it.
4. No, but I'll snap a picture and send it to STOMP.
5. I'll do nothing; it's none of my business.

What will you do? I hope my answer will be no. 2 but I have no track record to back me up. "I will do nothing" seems to be my most honest answer. Not doing anything is not because I think it is none of my business but rather I may not have enough courage for me to do that. Probably my courage does allow me to use my eyes or body language to hint to him that he is not doing what is right.

Whatever it is, I guess this is something I got to be aware and make sure I do the right thing by His grace.

Singapore MRT vendors have tried their best to do colour coding, sign board and even explicit word like "Reserved" with arrow to be clear that those seats are priority seats and they are for those who are in need. I was quite amused by the extent they put to try to secure seats for the elders, pregnant, handicap and babies. Something I learnt during my primary school days in "好公民" became something so formalise. It is about helping others, being considerate, being polite etc. Are we losing these values? If not why do we need to be so explicit about this?

Is it a culture issue? Or is it about values and character?

Something that I hear quite often is the "theory of reference".

"He is also doing it, why can't I?"; "Why am I wrong when others are doing it?" ; "They are doing it too. "

Those are such convenient excuses to use. Try telling the officers when you are caught, "so and so also speed what" or "so and so also litters". If the officials can't accept these, what make it sounds so right in our eyes? And God will definitely not tolerate such answers. We are accountable for our own lives and we should do what is right. This reminds me on the first church camp teaching about integrity, how Joseph chose to do the right thing publicly and privately.

Why do we follow/quote the bad examples? Why can't we follow/quote the good examples? Are we trying to justify? Are we trying to blame others and pushed away our faults?

Updates for June 2009

WOw it has been a month since I blogged. If I wait longer, i may give up blogging altogether. It seems like a short month to me. Guess time really flies and seems faster as I grow older. haha.

Here are some photos taken in June 2009.

This is how Marina Barrage looks like.

A view taken at the barrage

Kite flying seems to be popular at the Barrage

Liping's Birthday

CG sisters at Mid Valley during our church camp 09

CG @ Church Camp 2009

I had a good time of fellowship and bonding with CG at the church camp. This year's theme was Heroes. From the camp, I realised that heroes aren't without weakness or flaw. But what they did despite their weakness bring them there.

A quote that stick to my mind from the camp goes something like this,

" Mountain top experiences are inspiration but character is built in valleys, fruits are bore in valleys"

How true. It is only through experiences in valleys that we mature and bear fruit. Now I see much value in God's tests and trials. And some pain and suffering has much value as well.

In this camp, I had a fresh experience of God's gentleness. This was known to me at the mind level and now I am able to identify at the heart level. It happened during the first worship session; I seems to be able to feel Jesus' gentleness as I see him going around ministering to people, healing them and showing love and concern to them. I can only give to people what I receive from God. I believe this experience will help me grow in my gentleness as I minister to others. =)

The camp teachings were powerful and I gathered and concluded from the teachings and points that He wants me to have faith in Him and step out to answer His call and persevere. Sound simple enough but to do it takes a great deal out of me because I wouldn't need to have faith in Him if His call are within my known capability or threshold. God has been speaking to me on faith for the past month or two. I guess I need to focus my eyes on Him and take up challenges with faith and not look at my weakness and find referral for Him...

I pray that I will be faithful and FAITHful to His calling and always a "Yes" to Jesus and "No" to my sinful desires.

To fear God is to believe God.

To fear God is to believe God. To believe God is to obey Him.

So if we do not obey Him, it means we do not believe in His words or His promises. If we do not believe in His words or His promises, why would we fear Him?

When we say we believe in Him, what do we mean? Do we believe certain things about Him, about what He said or do we believe in all that He said?

If we believe in Him, we believe in who He says he is and what He says he will do. The more we believe in Him, the more we believe in who He is and what He says he will do. The more honour, respect and reverence we will give to Him for he is so great and awesome. The more assurance we get to trust in Him and to follow His instructions and ways.

Initially when I thought about the coming church camp theme, Heros, I thought what can I learnt from the Heros. There is always something to learn but how is that applicable to me. Not that I am godly but rather what can I really benefit from these teachings.

Incidently I was reading a book called "The Fear of the Lord" and in this book, a number of bible characters are mentioned and commended for their revere fear for the Lord. And deeper insight are given to how these heros' deeds reflect their fear for the Lord and their desire for His presence.

One example is Moses. He denied royalty and chose to retain his identity as Israelite. He obeyed God to perform the miracles and led the Israelites out of Eygpt. He chose to stand firm to his calling despite of the complaints and insults from his people. He would not want to be away from His presence (Exodus33:15), he rather not go to the promised land if God is not going.

I have been praying to have breakthrough in my fear for the Lord and this book inspired me to learn from these Heros in the bible. I am sure I can learn from them in this camp and now I am really looking forward for the rhema word that He will speak to me thr this camp. =D

"How happy are those who fear the LORD-all who follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How happy you will be! How rich your life! Your wife will be like a fruitful vine, flourishing within your home. And look at all those children! There they sit around your table as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees. That is the LORD's reward for those who fear him." Psalms 128:1-4(NLT)

Do you fear man?

If you desire the praise of man, you will fear man. If you fear man, you will serve him- for you will serve what you fear.

The seeds among the Thorns

Has been procrastinating this blog for a long time. My excuse is no time to go online to update blog. haha typical excuse.. but I have time to go online to read comic!!!

Anyway I shared this with my cg before. God spoke to me through this verse.

"Other seed fell among thorns that shot up and choked out the tender blades so that it produced no grain" Mark 4:7

It speaks clearly from the verse that if the spiritual seed is to grow among the thorns, it will bear no fruit. Fruit here could mean fruit of the Spirit- love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. We will not have these lasting fruit in us if we are choked up by these thorns. In simple terms, this could be the hearts of worldly christians. They still do christian activities but their heart are choked with thorns.

These thorns could be distraction, worries, addiction, negativism etc that we have. It's seed may appear harmless at first but it can grow to something thorny and choking in our heart. So we have to be careful of what we are sowing in our heart.

What seeds are we sowing in our heart? Will these seeds grow to be like thorns or will they grow to bear spiritual fruits? With the thorns, there wouldn't be space for spiritual seeds to grow and bear fruit.

What inputs are we allowing ourselves to receive? What habits are we cultivating? Are they beneficial, are they destructive or distracting? What are our values and priorities in our lives, are they thorny?

In order for spiritual seeds to grow better and bear fruit, we have to remove those thorny plants rooted in our heart. It will be painful and difficult. We need God's help to remove them and we have to replace that leftover void/space with spiritual seeds or else other seeds will take over.

We are recognised by our fruit. So are we thorny or fruitty?

The Great Commission

Recently I was pondering about my life and I was reminded about The Great Commission that Jesus had given to his disciples. I remembered Pastor Ben often said in the past that if you were to cut a Hope member, he will bleed Great Commission. That was to show how committed Hope member is to The Great Commission. I am wondering whether this is still true now. Will I "bleed Great Commission"?

As a christian, I want to follow Christ and I want Christ to be my master and head. I want to be a disciple of Christ, someone who will obey his commandments and live out his teachings. So I am tasked to fulfil The Great Commission in my lifetime. What does that mean? I am to make disciple who has close relationship with God. I am to teach him/her everything that Christ had taught. It is not just about sharing gospel, it is about continuous sowing, teaching and nurturing.

We are living in the beginning of the end times. If tribulation were to come tomorrow, can my disciples/flock go through it? Can I go through it? The tribulation mention in the bible sounds extremely terrible. Hanhui describe it(during the last WFL) as a time where we might have to choose between our life or Jesus, our fingers or Jesus, our nails or Jesus etc.

I think it is easy for me to say that I can give up my life for Jesus but when I imagine my fingers, nails, eyes or similar kind of torture that I have to go through for Jesus. Can I really hold on to my faith and belief? Or will I give it up to preserve myself?

During the Prayer meet on last Fri, the first and second prophecy encourages me. I was getting discourage but God wants me to know that nothing is more important than to know the fact that He loves me and nothing is more important to Him than to know I love him. I can be joyful always and not to feel discourage even when I don't see fruit in ministry. And the second prophecy talks about The Great Commission. It is exactly what I have been thinking about. It inspired me to do my best to help my sheep, cg and myself to grow in our convictions about God and his teachings and also about the Great Commission. These are the last words of Jesus before he ascend to Heaven. It must be important.

"Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age. " Matt 28:19-20

Updates

It has been a long time since I last blog. Now for the updates. For this period of my absence online, I have went through my national service (second last one!!), first paint ball experience, sickness and my first WFL teaching experience.

My national service was a relaxing one. Most of it was preparation and conducting of ranges. There is a change to how the range is to be conducted. Now it is more war-like. Compare to the previous range, this is closer to reality if we really engage enemy. I am glad and proud of such improvement. I hope to see more of such initiative to build up our soldiers to be ready to protect our country when the button is pressed.

Thank God I got marksman (because of team effort) and silver award for my IPPT! My exercise regime works!! I wonder whether I can get Gold next year. Haha.. sounds impossible..

Probably because of the national service, I went to Danga mall with friends and we played archery and paint ball. There isn't much things in Danga mall but archery is quite cheap at RM50 for 150arrows. We had a good time of shooting. And shawn, yeu ann and myself went ahead for paint ball. My first experience there and I ate paint ball within the first 5 min of play. My opponent team was a veteran team. When they are in position, poping my head out means immediate KO. My team were unable to make much advance and we lost. After that, we have a mini game among ourselves and it was quite fun. Yeu ann earned a couple of war scar from Shawn. Next time I will ask more people to go for it. All guys outing to DANGA MALL for PAINT BALL!! haha.. Instead of DOTA, Let's do some real damage in a game of paint ball..

I had fever before I started work again after my national service. In view of the swine flu, I went to consult a doctor to be sure. Thankfully, it was nothing as serious. I was able to resume my work with 1 day of MC. I went to the polyclinic for my consultation. I was glad that the episode of SARS has helped our health care officers to be more ready to handle this new threat. Forms are handled out to be filled, temperature were taken, stickers were given, masks were given as well and a designated area for registration and consultation was given for people like me with symptom of swine flu. Because of this, I took a relatively shorter waiting time for my turn. Praise God.

I had my first teaching session in WFL. It was a humbling experience. I was nervous and appear disorganise and not confident about what I teach. My time and class management wasn't good too. I was really discouraged after that but thank God for my co instructors who were there to give me feedback on what I can do better and what I have done well. I learnt alot from them. My wife gave me alot of support and encouragement along our trip back. She did a good job in easing my heart. Frankly I did think that I am not cut out to teach and wanted to give up teaching in WFL or to large group totally. But to admit defeat isn't what a victorious christian should do and it is a privilege to serve the LORD. I wanted to continue to improve myself to teach better. If I am lacking in knowledge, I will read more. If I am weak in delivery, I will teach more in smaller settings and practice more on my own. Thank God that I have a wife who teach everyday. I can get some tips from her as well. When the privilege comes again, I want to be ready to serve my LORD better. =)

Ok that's all for the moment.

The Emperor's New Suit

This is a childhood story by Hans Christian Anderson. I am sure most of us will be familiar with this story. It was about a King who was crazy about new clothes and he would always spent on new clothes. And one day two swindlers came to him and said that they can manufacture the finest cloth which only the smart people can see it. And the story went on with ministers who went with this lie in order to please the King and not be viewed as stupid. In the end, when the King went around to parade his new suit, no one dared to say that they couldn't see anything. Until a little child said that he got nothing on him.

So what can we learnt from this story? We should be honest with what we see? We shouldn't say things that make us look good? We should dare to make a stand for the truth?

This story reminds me of the advertisement that featured a boy playing tennis. Though he is lousy but the dad only hears the good words from the coach's comments about his son. And there is another one that featured a lady driving horribly but only hear good things from the instructor. Am I like them or the King? We like to hear good things, good comments, encouragement and praises. A lot of time I would really want to skip the time of evaluation which will touch on my failures and weakness.

Who do we listen to? Do we prefer to listen to someone who always say positive things about you or someone who always say negative things about you? I am sure you and me will choose the first. Not sure how many will actually choose the latter. However, we do need people to speak truth into our lives for our own good. Of course tact should be exercised.

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6

Do we really do think so? Sometimes I think I would prefer the kisses from my enemy.

We need friends whom we can trust to say things that can help us to be a better person, to be more effective in what we do or to do the right things. Do we have such friends? Do we value such friends and their comments? Or do we justify ourselves and criticise them for their comments?

There are times when I need empathy and encouragement; there are times when I need rebuke and correction. True friends will provide all these when I need them. Likewise, I would like to be true to all my friends.

Project Gracious

An extract from an article in TODAY by Jill Alphonso

“Her experience had me thinking that grace is really about the generosity of spirit and the understanding that we live in a world that is inclusive of other people, rather than exclusive.

Here’s the thing: If we got that (and I mean really got that beyond a theoretical level) then one would naturally act with grace. Meaning, that we would begin to act as if what we do has an impact on other people – just as what they do has an impact on us.

Now, if we really lived the concept of grace, then Singapore’s plague of dirty toilets would no longer exist. Think about it. We’d all use the space as if it mattered; how we treat that space would matter because it would have an impact on someone else down the line.

It’s the same with road etiquette – if we used the roads with grace, we would give way, use our signals. We would understand that we were sharing a space with people, as opposed to simply using the space as a means to get to a destination.

Taking it even further, there would be no war. Not just because it is simply not right to kill another human being, but because one would understand that peace is a far better thing not only for our fellow men, but also our entire planet. (Sit with that, George W. Bush.)

The question here is, do campaigns work? What they do is ask people to perform, and the rub is that performance, unfortunately, can sometimes smack of farce.

And why not? Start with three acts of grace per week. See where you can help impact another human being, even in the smallest way. Stand aside for someone coming out of a train. Let another car get ahead of you when you’re driving. Take dinner around to your neighbour who’s sick. You may not get thanks right away, but don’t do it for yourself. Do it for the good of building a community. Look, no one’s asking you to be a saint, but think about simply being a better human being to those around you, for no other reason than because you can. “

This article struck a chord in my heart. I have the same sentiment about this.

I see people rushing into the MRT cabin before the passengers can alight, I see people occupying more space than they should on public transport with their barang barang. I see people blocking the way by not moving to the back of the bus. I see people not moving into the center of the MRT cabin. I see people not giving up their seats to the elderly, pregnant and parents with baby etc. I see plates, bowls and dirty table. I see tissue papers thrown into basin and dirty toilet bowls. If we can be responsible for our actions and think for others, we can make Singapore a much better place and redeem our bad name.

I remember during my primary school days, I was taught to return the bowls and plates to the respective bins. But why is it different now? Because we do not know where is the collection point? Or the collection point is too far away? Or we think that we are paying for the food, air-con and service, so the cleaner is suppose to clear and clean the table for us? In Siemens cafeteria, we are to return our tray and stuff to the collection point whether we like it or not. There are cleaners, air con and the food aren’t cheap but yet we are expected to do it. Even with oversea guests, they will follow our example and do likewise.

I guess we can say that we know all about these and recognize that they are good. Some may say that others are also doing it. Some may say that they are already doing all of them. I considered myself among the latter group. =p However, I realize this is not always the case for me. I can recall instances when I am talking to someone and not moving inside to the center of the cabin. I can recall instances when a group of us chatting and blocking the whole pavement. I can recall instances when I will stand beside sarah and not move to the back of the bus.

I know I am not perfect, so rather than just pointing finger at others, I will first change myself and influence my friends to do likewise. As a Christian, I guess the benchmark would be higher since I advocate grace and love. Tough man!!! I really need the Holy Spirit to remind me and give me the strength to continue to do good and be a good witness for Him.

“Do for others what you would like them to do for you...” Mt7:12(NLT)
“Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.“ - Phil2:4 (NLT)

Friends, let's show more grace and love in our daily living to make this place a better home.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, let's be a good reflector of God's love and grace through our daily living. We know that all these are not just for the community but all these will be done onto Him.

"Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me... I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of these brothers of mine, you did for me." Mt25:34-36, 40

How to be happier at work.

Found this interesting article. I think it will be very helpful especially on Monday. =)

1. Check for eyestrain by putting your hand to your forehead in a salute. If your eyes feel relieved, your work space is too bright.
I think this is really very useful.

2. Sit up straight with your shoulder down — every time I adjust my sitting position, I instantly feel more energetic and cheerier.
I tried this and it works =)

3. Get a phone headset. I resisted for a long time, because it looks so preposterous, but it’s really much more comfortable. Also, it lets me pace while I talk on the phone, which also looks preposterous, but is energizing.
Never try this.. Probably I should make better use of my bluetooth headset.

4. Don’t keep candy on your desk. Studies show that people are much more likely to snack when a treat is within easy reach, and a handful of M&Ms each day could mean a weight gain of five pounds by year’s end.
I got a drawer full of food... Haha

5. Never say “yes” on the phone; instead, say, “I’ll get back to you.” When you’re actually speaking to someone, the desire to be accommodating is very strong, and can lead you to say “yes” without enough consideration. Along the same lines…
I think this is great advice.

6. When deciding whether to say “yes,” imagine that you’re accepting a job that you’ll have to do next week. Don’t agree to something just because it seems so far off that it doesn’t seem onerous.
Think ahead is prudent

7. Don’t let yourself get too hungry, eat regularly.
This is important and I fully agree with it. This is why I got that drawer of food... haha

8. Take care of difficult calls, tasks, or emails as quickly as possible. Procrastinating makes them harder; getting them done gives a big boost of relieved energy.
I have to discipline myself in this. Procrastination happens to me regularly.

9. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, think hard about how you spend your time. Be honest. How much time do you spend surfing the internet, looking for things you’ve misplaced, or doing a task that’s really someone else’s job? Also…
This is so true. Sometimes time is spent on inappropriate stuffs.

10. Let yourself stay ignorant of things you don’t need to know.
Don't understand this... probably not to be busybody keke

11. Go outside at least once a day, and if possible, take a walk. The sunlight and activity is good for your focus, mood, and retention of information.
I usually treat myself a walk to buy my favourite drink during afternoon tea break.

12. Say “Good morning” to everyone. Social contact is cheering, and if you feel that you’re on good terms with all the people in your office, you’ll be happier each day. Also, it’s polite.
This is so not me... I think I will just stick a big smile on my face for a start.

My Job

I wanted to post this last week but I didn't find time to do it. Recently, my department had a restructuring. My boss is now fully in charge of all the products that my department is offering. And there is a GM who will be in charge of the products that we were previously selling for ASEAN region. I thought we were to report to this GM but last week I realise that my division(product) will only focus on Singapore business. That means to say, I do not need to fly and I will not be supporting Southeast asia business. And I will need to learn the other products and support technically.

When I told my wife about this, she exclaimed that I was demoted. That was right too since I was in regional support before and now it became local support. When I looked at the structure of my division, I thought the structure could be leaner. AND I found my position to be quite redundant. haha.. (from my point of view) Initially I joined this division because of it's regional portfolio. Now it had changed, I thought I was put in a crossroad again. I had to make some plans and decision. Should I stay and learn new things and hope that the business will get better and I can keep my job here? Or should I look for greener pastures out there? Should I do project? Should I upgrade my knowledge? Should I try other industries? Should I join institutions?

Shrug.. I am still thinking about it. Probably I will stay and learn the new products first. I always want to learn new things. This new knowledge could be helpful to me in future. =) However through this, I experienced the stress, fears, uncertainty and worries of losing my job. I didn't take it too hard. (since I wasn't actually out of job) But I am preparing for the changes that may come. I know God will still provide and I can still find a job. I was just wondering what is His plan for me and where is He leading me towards in my career. I want to contribute in my work and not to do it only as a livelihood.

Holy Discontent...

I am encouraged by people's concern for me when they read my last blog. Thanks for your concerns. Sorry that I was quite tied up this week. I realise For last entry and this, I seems to have changed my style of blogging. =p Think this is ok since I want this blog to be real, to reflect what I am or was thinking about.

Yesterday I was really stressed because I couldn't find good trailer clips for today's movie night. My wife was preparing for her script for the movie night but she still helped me. Thank God for a good wife. =) I also received another challenge last night. Haha.. Life is getting more and more exciting.

Anyway as I was planning this movie night, it brought back memories of the times in university group. I was in charge of event management. The tight deadline, the pressure, the coordination and the amount of things to do are similar. It took me around 1-2 years back then to get used to it and I even set up a system for events, especially those on regular basis, to avoid such intense moments.

The holy discontent in me for this area surfaced again... This isn't the best. Through my years in church, I saw alot of pastoral leaders taking up lots of roles and responsibilities and always so busy. I don't think this is good for them. There are members in the church with the right skills and with more free time. These are opportunities for them to get involved and serve in their strength!! However it isn't our culture to volunteer or to initiate. This has been the challenge. Personally, my discontent lies in the area of resource management. I have been taught to be versatile, to improvise and to find the best solution to problem. I will try to look for shortcut or a better way of doing things.

Sometimes I have this strong sentiment of "there must be a better way of doing this" and I will put on my thinking cap and ponder and try to find that "better way". Before 2004/5 I will just know it in my head but after I learnt the goodness of setting up system, I see the benefits it can have in putting all those considerations and experiences that I have in words. It will be a painful process for me ( I am not a word or structure person). I remember the resistence I put up when I was told to come up with a system for event management. Haha..

When Eugene challenge the sub district group to think of what each one of us can contribute to the group, I thought of some possible ideas. I envision members stepping out to initiate something that he/she likes or passionate about that will inspire like minded members or benefit the rest of the group in some ways. One of them was to see members who are passionate about exercise, aerobics and even nutrition to come together to champion in the health and fitness aspect. They can plan for sports day, regular exercise regime, introduce new aerobics or health seminars which will benefit the working adults who don't set aside time for this. They will be promoting what they like and I am sure they will enjoy themselves while doing it. Those of you who are frustrated about the lack of avenue for health and fitness in the group, probably you can channel those frustration into something powerful. Initiate something, plan something, gather like minded people, DO SOMETHING! =p

Ideally ministry should be done this way with all these pull and push factors. =) I guess there are pull and push factors in play when I start the couple gathering. I see the need and benefits for such gathering and Eugene is supportive and open to this and off we go, we started our first gathering. Now I am planning for the second one on 11th April. =)

Recently a brother who has passion in writing wrote a children story book for a competition with another sister. I thought it was a good start and now he gathered a group of like minded brothers and sisters to join him and they are having their first meet up soon. Praise God for his passion and initiative. I pray for blessing and anointing upon this writers' group and may God bless their works and use them to influence and impact people around them.

I pray that God will instill greater passion in my brothers and sisters and lead them to step out to initiate and champion in their areas of passion and strength. It may start out small but just like a mustard seed sized faith that can move mountains, I am sure God will honour those who use their talents and passion to glorify Him.

Saturated

Lots of things seems to flood my mind. I seems to have alot of things that I want to do, alot of people I would like to meet, alot of ideas I want to follow up and alot of responsibilities I want to fulfill. Is God trying to do some work on me? Ideas seems to flow freely into my mind.

I know if I let all these ideas stay there, nothing will change and nothing will move. Action!!! Move!!! Do it!!! Don't Procrastinate!!! FIREPROOF is 2 days away!!! I am still settling the details... Who is coming for the movie? Still haven't consolidate... What do we do for Good Friday at Hort Part? Have some ideas but no action plan yet... How is my cg members doing? I don't know about everyone... I want to start seeker small group but I am not ready and I need to sharpen my skills... I want to visit my grandpa and grandma... I haven't meet some of my sheep.. I need to do some hand over... I want to meet up some of my cg members regularly but I have been pushing that back for quite some time already... I want to take some courses to sharpen my skills at work but haven't sign up any... I want to read some books for learning.. I want to tidy up my room... I want to spend more time with my wife..I want to go overseas for trekking but haven't plan and get down with the details.... There are emails I need to follow up... Church camp administration to settle...

So many things to do... Some are wants and some seems to be part of my primary responsibilities. BUT what does God want me to do at this moment? Or is God feeding me with lots of holy discontent now? I don't know whether my heart can take it or not... haha

Thank God I still can rely on You and depend on You for directions and advices.

I better go and write down a task list and pray over it. In the midst of writing this blog, Marc called me to tell me that he has managed to get Love Dare Book from SKS book warehouse. Thank God..=) 1 less things to worry... more free space in my mind.. keke

Departures (movie 2009)

Initially I thought this will be a boring movie. I did hear good comments on it. This movie won the Oscar Best Foreign Language film.

This movie is about this guy, Daigo Kobayashi's life which took a turn when the band he played in was disbanded. Left with no job, Daigo, a cellist decided to move back to his hometown. At his hometown, he got a job working as an undertaker. It wasn't easy at first since you have to face different kind of corpses and also the taboo of this job. People despised his job, including his friend and wife. However, he found meaning in this job and through the job, he experienced the acceptance of make up or touch a deceased, the temporary lost of his wfe, the grudge against his father and etc.

It seems to me that a lot of people think that handling dead people are such a dirty job. (there is a scene where his wife shun away from him saying that his hands are dirty) However, this movie shows that no matter how dirty a job is, if it's done with patience, passion and heart it will be something that you'll never forget in your life and even fix bad relationship with anyone else. There are a few funerals showing different family and their feelings for the deceased. It was really touching. I almost teared. I imagined how I would response in those moments. I realised how much I love my family and my wife. It will also be a heart wrenching experience for me. These feelings propel me to want to spend more time with them and not to regret it later.

Another thing that I learnt in this movie is the passion and conviction in the things/work you do. Daigo is not the only example who does his work with passion and conviction. His boss and another uncle also do it with passion and conviction. They see meaning in their work. They found the motivation to persevere in their work no matter how lowly or repetitive it may seems. How many of us have found such meaning in things we do?

Something that touched me is also the support of Daigo's wife. Initially she threatened him to give up his job for her and their baby. This is what she said, "How do you want me to tell our child what his father does?" Later on when she saw how Daigo perform his work with such patience, grace and respect for a deceased whom she knew, she was convinced. This was shown when she spoke up for Daigo later in the movie,"My husband is a professional!"

Another classic line from this movie,"Your last purchase is actually select by someone else, what an irony!"

In conclusion, this is a great movie and it definitely worth the money and time.

Hippo vs Penguin

Yesterday SD gathering was refreshing.
What stuck on me was Hippo and Penguin. Haha

Sarah shared about a prophecy she received during the leaders' getaway. It was about penguin. How the penguin is to live in a community, to stick to the community and not to be alone, Interdependent of one another, learning from each other and sharing with one another. It reminds me of the movie about penguins,"March of the Penguins".



In this movie, the penguins travel together and huddle together in harsh winter. In the extreme cold of the Antarctic winter, the females are at sea fishing for food leaving the males to brave the weather by themselves. They often huddle together to keep warm and rotate positions to make sure that each penguin gets a turn in the center of the heat pack. This is community living. If the penguins are selfish and always stay in the center of the heat pack, then those at the outer ring will probably die. I guess slowly more and more will die eventually. less penguin = less fats and warm. =p

Then Eugene shared about Hippo. Hippo also live in community. Though they live in close proximity, they do not seem to form social bonds except between mothers and daughters, and are not social animals. The reason they huddle in close proximity is unknown. Within the pods, the hippos tend to segregate by gender. Bachelors will lounge near other bachelors, females with other females, and the bull on his own.When hippos emerge from the water to graze, they do so individually. Hippo are territorial animals. It is normal for them to kill crocodiles living in the same area. They are very violent-tempered too. It is claimed that they kill more humans than any other animal except mosquitos.

Am I more a Hippo or a penguin? Am I like hippo who react when someone step on my toes or intrude my "territory"(comfort zone)? Or am I like penguin who will accept one another readily, stand together and help one another in harsh circumstances? Or am I too individualistic? Will I welcome vulnerability and closeness like how the penguin huddle together? Or will I be selfish to stay longer in the center of the heat pack(each person for his own)? Am I outwardly joining cg and events but not connecting at heart level? Am I with the community like the Hippo or am I in the community like the Penguin?

Hippo vs Penguin... Who am I in CG, in church, in family and in workplace?

I like the prophecy spoken in the gathering about Subway burger. Every ingredient inside gives forth individual aroma and taste. They contribute to the nutrition value and taste of the burger. Everyone is unique but together as one we can serve a much higher purpose.

"The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up ONLY one body. So it is with the body of Christ....Yes, the body has many DIFFERENT parts, not just one part...But God made our bodies with many parts, and he has put each part just where he wants it...So God has put the body together in such a way that extra honor and care are given to those parts that have less dignity. This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other equally.If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad...." 1Cor 12:12-31

I want to be like a penguin. Haha... Ironically, I chose the smaller of the 2 and the gentle and lowly of the 2. God really has a way for us to learn from the meek.

FIREPROOF

DO YOU KNOW WHICH FILM IS THE BIGGEST GROSSING INDEPENDENT FILM IN AMERICA IN 2008?

It's not Slumdog Millionaire, not Milk. But it’s coming to theatre near you!



At work, inside burning buildings, Capt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter's adage: Never leave your partner behind. At home, in the cooling embers of his marriage, he lives by his own rules.

Growing up, Catherine Holt always dreamed of marrying a loving, brave firefighter...just like her daddy. Now, after seven years of marriage, Catherine wonders when she stopped being "good enough" for her husband.

Regular arguments over jobs, finances, housework, and outside interests have readied them both to move on to something with more sparks.

As the couple prepares to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb's father challenges his son to commit to a 40-day experiment: "The Love Dare." Wondering if it's even worth the effort, Caleb agrees-for his father's sake more than for his marriage. When Caleb discovers the book's daily challenges are tied into his parents' newfound faith, his already limited interest is further dampened.

While trying to stay true to his promise, Caleb becomes frustrated time and again. He finally asks his father, "How am I supposed to show love to somebody who constantly rejects me?"

When his father explains that this is the love Christ shows to us, Caleb makes a life-changing commitment to love God. And with God's help he begins to understand what it means to truly love his wife.

But is it too late to fireproof his marriage? His job is to rescue others. Now Caleb Holt is ready to face his toughest job ever...rescuing his wife's heart.


WHAT DO PEOPLE SAY ABOUT THIS MOVIE?

"Amazing! Action-packed, heartwarming, and a great resource to help strengthen and affirm marriages!"
Dr. Gary Smalley, author of Change Your Heart, Change Your Life

"FIREPROOF is going to do much more than entertain and stir hearts; this is a movie that will impact couples in a profound way for decades to come."Dennis Rainey, President, FamilyLife

"FIREPROOF is a beautiful picture of how God can use one partner to completely turn a seemingly hopeless marriage around. What an encouragement!"Rebekah Land, Ph.D., Marriage and Family Therapist

"What makes a movie worth seeing is a powerful story that is well told. FIREPROOF is a compelling, must-see film."
Bob Lepine, Co-Host, FamilyLife Today

Letter

Pass this on to your friends. =D

As a Christian...

"No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother." 1Jn3:9-10 (NIV)

This is something I read today and I was pondering over it. God's standard is really high. But then, it was not written that those who are born of GOd will not sin instead it was written that NONE, NO ONE, Not even 1 who is born of God will CONTINUE to sin. It is an absolute statment and yet it is possible for us, sinners to reach with His grace.

Wow if I am continuing in my sin, I am not considered to be born of God because if the seed of God is in me, I couldn't continue to sin. Somehow God will intervene and I will somehow stop it.

Reflecting back, there were moments when God actually intervened when I was in sin. If GOd had not caused my sins to be exposed; if God didn't get someone to point out my sins; if God didn't create hinderance for my sinful actions; if God didn't give me strength to flee from sins, I would have continued in my sins. Those were the times I felt so loved because of His grace. God is so gracious to me. Gosh, I really feel so precious in His eyes.

However, I have seen cases where GOd intervened but nothing was changed. Sad to say that the brother/sister has made their choice on who to follow. Thank God that opportunities to repent are always there, as long as we are alive, as long as Jesus has not return. There is still hope. =)

So as christian, as child of GOd, I will do what is right in His eyes and I will love my brothers and sisters(I don't think God say some or I am given any choice to choose). Just as GOd's promises stands true all the time, His standards are as firm. Any brothers and sisters within my influence/ radar, I am to love.

How many times have I resent against a brother;
how many times have I withdrew goodness/kindness from my brother;
how many times have I judge my brother;
how many times have I rebel against my leader;
how many times have I avoid loving my brother;
how many times have I think that he isn't good enough for my help;
how many times have I pay lips service to him;
how many times have I criticize my church(I don't mean Nexus here);

I am guilty and those are just few grains from the sack. Gosh it is tough to be like Christ.
Thank God for the grace that were given.
Thank God for the practical example Christ shown.
Thank GOd for the patience from my leaders.
Thank God for the forgiveness from my brothers and sisters.
Thank God for the strength to love.
Thank God for the strength to give.
Thank God for the faith to believe.

"...With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Mt19:26

Leaders' Getaway

Look at how we enjoyed ourselves!!! =)



The sunset was beautiful too!!



It was an enjoyable time with all the leaders in AG1. It was fun knowing one another. We had a game whereby we were to describe ourselves using an animal, a muscial instrument and food. Here are some of their descriptions: chameleon,elephant, tiger, horse, puppy, tortise; trumpet, cymbal, guitar, keyboard; durian, seafood, banana, bread. Guess which were mine.

The theme of this Getaway is about Passion, so we had a number of discovery sessions, some were games and some were discussions. =) And we had a session of prophesizing over one another as well! I received prophecies which were really apt!! Thank God. He assured me that whatever I need were/will be given to me and I should not be fearful but be courageous to go forth with faith to take on more roles & to take care of more people.

"One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Prov 11:24-25

WOW! That's challenging.. But if He said so, so be it. I rather to be generous than to be stingy. Haha..

We also watched a sermon by Bill Hybels about leader's state of mind.
"When leader grow and get things right, everyone under him will grow and benefit"
My personal growth does have implication on my flock, so I got to grow!!

Another thing that spoke to me was what Bill said about Holy Discontent,he said that this is something that precedes vision and that is the key to leadership: God's heart and a human heart being aligned perfectly around what frustrates heaven and earth. Wow, it was a revelation to me. I kept asking God for vision and I didn't know how to come up with one... Now I somehow know where to look.

Reflecting back, I saw fruits when I followed through my holy discontent. I can't really explain what I felt then but now I can. Those were holy discontent and they gave me the motivation to do something about it for God and fuelled my perseverance. I will want to take time to observe what are the holy discontent that God put in me now. Probably those will be the areas that God wants me to do something about it with him. And it is something unique in me that God has created. =D

Do not Worry

What do you worry?

• Work– Will I be able to finish all these today? Will there be OT today?
• Job- Where's the replies to my resumes? Will I get a job in times like this?
• BGR – Is he/she the right person?
• Parents – What will my parents think?
• College – Will they accept my application? Will I be able to pay for the fees?
• Money – How will I make it this month? Will I get pay cut or lay off?
• Future – What will I do?
• Marriage – Whom will I marry?
• Bills – How will I ever pay for it?
• Decisions – Which job should I take? Shall I go? Shall I do this?
• Your health – What if it is something serious? Will I recover?
• Your future – What is going to happen to me? What to do?
• A combination of a number of the above!

This is just a simple list of worries I can think of. Can you think of a longer list?

Extract from a blog.
Worry is something that I know how to do. I suspect that when I worry I am primarily thinking about my own need to "fix" something and my utter inadequacy to do so. There are some things that you just can’t fix.

I can recall nights when I have lain in bed and imagined. Sometimes I relived the past (accompanied by some worry). I thought about a conversation or a meeting that took place and worried about the implications of it. At times I relived the past by imagining having made a different decision and then thinking about what might have been. At times I have worried about failures from the past.

At other times I have worried about the future. What is going to happen? Where will we live one day? What will we do?

I read again this week the familiar Scripture in Matthew 6:25-27.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

1. God invites us to trust in him regardless. I have a friend who inspects homes for a living. The other day I heard him say that when he pulls his truck in front of a house, he always prays before going to the front door. He prays for these people and prays that he will do a good job with this inspection. My friend understands that we are called to live in daily dependence upon the Lord.

2. God invites us to live in daily dependence even in the midst of a struggling economy. This is an opportunity for so many of us to learn a new kind of dependence on God.

3. God invites us to bring our anxiety before him in the context of faith. This is not a call to some sort of indifference to what is happening in our world, economy, culture, etc. The key to dealing with anxiety and worry is not indifference but faith in God. This allows us to stare reality in the face and deal with the hard, cold facts of life.

Perhaps those of us who are church leaders/pastors/ministers/etc. would do well to follow Hezekiah’s example in 2Kings 19:14 when he faced an impossible situation with Sennacherib, king of Assyria. He prayed, "…Now, O Lord our God, deliver us from his hand, so that all kingdoms on earth may know that you alone, O Lord, are God." Some things just can’t be fixed and simply need to be given over to God.

The good news is that you cannot fix so many things that are broken in your life or ministry. Yet, we are not called to be a people who have a fix for whatever might be broken. Rather, we are a people who hand it over to God.

Personally I had my fair share of worries. When I was preparing my wedding, I worried about the finance, whether I have enough money to cover; I worried about the program, whether I missed out any part; I worried about what it will be like on actual day; I worried that pple can't get me because my handphone hang the night before. Thank God it was over. He sent friends to support and help me. He gave me peace and assurance as I depended on Him.

However, I still do worry.. eg financially whether I can save enough for baby and house, how my flock is doing. But I seek God's wisdom to plan whatever I can and whatever is beyond me, God, you take it from here. =)
So just follow the 3 steps. God is just and faithful to His words. Don't worry.

Moving towards Changes

A blog that I read today. The five questions posted are great questions for us to reflect on.

1. Do you need to change your attitude? Do you tend to be cynical and negative? Do you complain more than you praise God?


2. Do you live for the applause and approval of other people? Do you feel disappointed, and even angry, when others do not seem impressed with your willingness to sacrifice for your prayer life or your ministry (Matt. 6:1-18)?


3. Do you need to change where you have placed your "treasure"? Is your heart wrapped around the desire for earthly goods, material wealth, and status symbols? Or, are you investing in a treasure that moths and rust cannot consume (Matt. 6:19-24)?


4. Do you take Jesus at his word? Do you trust him to the point of risk? Or, are you merely going along with his words as long as they seem reasonable?


5. Are you serious about loving God and loving others or do you hold on to cherished fantasies rooted in hatred, lust, or envy?


It will be so good if someone else can evaluate it for me. =p Probably someone who know me very well can help me answer these questions... haha

1. Do I need to change my attitude? Do I tend to be cynical and negative? Do I complain more than I praise God?

2. Do you think I live for the applause and approval of other people? Do I look disappointed, and even angry, when others do not seem impressed with my willingness to sacrifice for my prayer life or my ministry (Matt. 6:1-18)?

3. Where do you see I placed my "treasure"? Do I need to change? Is my heart wrapped around the desire for earthly goods, material wealth, and status symbols? Am I investing in a treasure that moths and rust cannot consume (Matt. 6:19-24)?

4. Do I seems to take Jesus at his word? Do you think I trust him to the point of risk? Am I merely going along with his words as long as they seem reasonable?

5. Do I look serious about loving God and loving others or do you think I hold on to cherished fantasies rooted in hatred, lust, or envy?

My Grandma and my Uncle

Tonight I managed to visit my grandma with sarah. She looks better at home and she can remember me. Haha.. My uncle also found a maid who can speak mandarin to take care of her. The maid (from Myanmar) is suppose to reach singapore this week. Hope that she can assimilate into the family quickly.

I realised that my uncle had been improvising switches and gadgets to ensure that my grandma's needs and safety were taken care of. He is really a true engineer. He made mirrors so that he can see my grandma from his room through the reflections. He made a bell switch near the bed to wake him up in case she needs anything in the night. He also made a switch for her to on/off the fan while on bed. A overhanding handle was installed for her to use it when she has no strength to sit up. A frame was made to secure the bed side so that she will not fall out of bed and to prevent her from walking out of her bed at night. A made shift toilet bowl was put beside her in case she need the toilet.

Recently he prepared some materials for installation of CCTV (with IP address) so that he can monitor the house while at work.(you never know what the maid might do while you are gone) Thank God for my uncle.

I am trying to picture myself in his shoes when my parents are old. They love me and take great care of me. I will take good care of them when they are older too. It has to start now as well.=) Hope I can go for stroll with my grandpa soon.

"Do not Judge"

Expectations are everywhere and from everyone. Even towards someone whom we do not know, we do have certain expectations on him according to the culture we are in. Whenever certain expectations are not met, certain conclusion are formed knowingly or unknowingly. Example if a person litter publicly in singapore, what would we conclude about him? If a person speaks loudly in public in singapore, how would we think about him? If a person rushed to be first in the queue for buffet, what is our impression of him?

Seriously, I will form certain impression of pple knowingly or unknowingly. However I am open to factors or explanations to change this impression of the person. So before I know the person personally or hear his explanations for his action, is it wrong for me to have impression or judgement?

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged.For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ” Matthew 7:1-2

“Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgement.” John 7:24

So judgement is wrong if we were to do it by mere appearances, however there are right judgement. What are right judgements? I guess we got to look at all different aspects and give chances for the person to explain himself before passing any judgement. Whose judgement are right? Does it differ? I guess it does. To a person who value career, putting career first is right and for a person who value family will not agree to that. For all of us has different priority because of differing convictions and values.

I guess if we follow the guidelines and principles from the bible, we will have a similar sense of what is right and what is wrong. But we shouldn't be quick to make a judgement. No matter how true is the judgement, pple don't like to be judged. Personally I acknowledge that we are all sinners and we will fail somehow, so probably if judgement were to be made, it should be made on the action first. I really hope that I can say that I wouldn't judge a person. However to be frank, if a person kept making the same wrong and continue his ways, I can't help but to judge or to make some conclusion about the person.

Friends, if you think that you felt judged,wronged or hurt by me, pls tell me and let me be aware of it. I would definitely appreciate the opportunity to clarify and improve our relationship. I would love to become like Jesus in this area too. =)

What is best for me?

Yesterday Sarah and I went to watch Marley and me. It is a great movie. The dog is really cute and super hyperactive. Haha... He doesn't listen to commands from his master and mistress and he is scared of thunder storms. Even after a few years, he doesn't change. Still the couple loved him very much and accepted his flaws.=)

Personally I saw the sacrifice that the couple need to make to start a family. It wasn't easy. Marley is not easy but having kid is worst!!(said in the movie) Anyway, John Grogan (the male lead) works as a reporter. When he was called to work as a columnist, he wasn't very happy. He wanted to join his best friend to follow up some news as reporter. Even though he was successful with his column about his life (esp marley), he yearned to be a reporter. In the end, he managed to work as one in another company.

That was not the end. He was corrected for putting "himself" in the report that he wrote. In the end, he felt unfulfilled again. He actually asked his boss to start a column for him to write. Ironic! It seems that he knew what he wanted but in the end, it wasn't and it turned out that the work he liked was the area that God puts him, columnist. (it was by "chance" that he start to write on the column)

Alot of time we keep saying that this or that is the best for me or we know what is best for ourselves. Do we really know? Or are we blinded by our emotions or childhood dream that we stubbornly persisted. Maybe it is also a way to make sure that is not for me. Haha..

So what is best for me? Do I know best?
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5,6

I guess I don't know for sure. However I learnt that whatever I do, it is good to seek for more godly advices so that my victory will be sure. =)

What good is there in Physical Exercise?

Recently I broke my exercise regime... Wed I skip it to run errand for my wife and since then I procrastinate by giving myself excuses... Typical sinful body.. =(

Today I won the battle and resume back my exercise regime. As I was exercising, I thought what's the benefits of exercising and why am I doing it. The answer seems obvious. I need to lose weight because I went beyond the ideal weight range. "Isn't there shortcut?" I thought.

WOw my sinful self does know how to ask good questions. Yes, there are ways like going to slimming program, going for lipo suction or eat slimming pills. Once my sister gave me a pill before a sumptous dinner which can prevent my body from absorbing whatever I eat. Hmm... sounds like a good idea.. I can have all the pleasure of eating and yet I can look the same.. haha..

If it is just about weight loss and looking good, I can choose all those options that the world provide and most importantly, they are easy options. However, exercise does improve my stamina; it does build up my endurance; it does strengthen my body; it does improve my energy level. All these will help me to be effective for work, for ministry and even improve my quality of life with my love ones indirectly. Weight loss and looking good are part of it...

In the midst of reflecting, I was reminded of 1Tim4:7b,8

"...Spend your time and energy in training yourself for spiritual fitness. Physical exercise has some value, but spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next."

Being a christian of that sort sounds tough... Any shortcut to look spiritual?
Just follow what is expected of you? Legalism!! Changing the outward appearance only. Looks spiritual but inner being may not be so. This sounds like cosmetic surgery... However, these will not survive thr tests and trials.

"So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence.
A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better.
Knowing God leads to self-control.
Self control leads to patient endurance,
and patient endurance leads to godliness.
Godliness leads to love for other Christians,
and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone.
The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2Peter1:5-8.

Just like how I make effort to go to the gym to workout regularly and benefit from physical exercise, spiritual fitness starts with making the effort to apply the benefits of WOG to my life and changes will progress from there.

Psalms 119

I was amazed when I found an article about Studying the Scriptures which says:
"All but three verses in Psalm 119 contain a reference to the Word of God (variously referred to as God's laws, decrees, precepts, promises, testimonies, statutes, judgments, ordinances, commands, and words). Read this psalm and record your observations of the beneficial effects of the Scriptures in cultivating a relationship with God."

I tried reading it again and it is true that the whole Psalm 119 mentions alot on the beneficial effects of the scriptures, some direct and some inferred. It was a refreshing and fun time reading it. Previously I would get bored reading it because it is the longest chapter in the bible with 176 verses. I read it a few times but it never occur to me that all the verses are talking about the benefits of the scriptures.

You can try reading on your own and challenge each other to see who can find the most no. of different beneficial effects of the scriptures. I remembered what Pastor Jeff said on sunday that you need to research on the scripture, review it and remember it to get the most out of it but most importantly, we should be doer of the Word. So after knowing the benefits of reading and meditating on the scripture, we got to ACT upon what was learnt.

Guardian Angel

As I read Yeu Ann recent blog , I can't help but to admit that I do struggle ministering to people who are socially immature. I have to give my full attention to them because the general crowd are not keen or find it hard to relate to them. There were times that I struggled because I would be moving myself out of the general crowd to join the "minority". If it wasn't because of His love, I wouldn't be able to do that. There were times I did right and times when I showed the same belittling look in my heart. (I am still a sinner under sanctification) All those little obedience helped me to grow in accepting the differences among people.

All of us grew up from different background and some were fortunate enough to have friends or teachers who helped them along the way. When I was young, I wasn't socially mature. I didn't have many friends. I felt little, at times felt bullied; I had to seek for attention, approval or friendship from my classmates. But God is good. I had a teacher who trusted in me, who had faith in me and showed me grace and mercy for my failures. He was like my guardian angel for my last 2 years in primary school. I grew in confidence because of him.

Sometimes people who always voiced their displeasure and opposing opinions are looked upon as not flowing and might be outcast. I don't think I was an easy sheep as well. However, I was thankful for the guardian angels that God had placed along the way. People who showed me truth, people who stood by me, people who trusted in me. If not for their support and trust, I wouldn't be who I am now. They were my guardian angels too. =)

Personally I too noticed some guardian angels and witnessed how their "mortal" grew and transformed as they stood by and trusted them. Somehow God must have let them see something in them (the "mortal") that others can't see.

Barnabas came forth strongly to me as such guardian angel in the bible.
He believed in John Mark even though John Mark deserted them(Paul and Barnabas) before(Acts15:37-39).
Barnabas believed in Saul(who was called Paul later)even though he had prosecuted several christians before. (Acts9:26-27)

Who is your Guardian Angel? Who is your "mortal"?

My Primary Responsibilities?

When I was little, my family usually visit my grandparents every sunday alternating between my paternal and maternal side. This routine was broken when I was older and had more activities over the weekend. When I became a christian, I couldn't visit them on sunday so I tried to visit them on my own whenever I had the time. Sadly the frequency was much reduced over time.

Last year, my maternal grandma was hospitalised for suspected turmor in her colon and she had an operation. The operation was successful but since then she became weaker and after some fall, she became quite immobile and weak. To make things worse, her appetite also suffered.

Once Sarah and I visited her at rehabilitation center(she stay for a short while), we were there when she was having her lunch. We told her that we wanted to bring her downstairs but she would have to eat more in order to have strength to do that. She did eat more. I realised that she wanted to move about and she appreciate the company of her dear ones. Even 15mins was good enough for her, but I didn't give her that many 15mins for the past year.

Now she is back home. However, she would be "locked up" on her bed when no one was at home because previously she fell down while no one is around. This is a sad thing to know... My uncle is actively looking for a suitable helper to attend to her. Hopefully he can find one soon and my grandma will not be "locked up".

I also heard from my parents that my paternal grandpa is feeling weaker and find it harder to move around and gets tired easily. Once a fortune teller told him that this is probably his last year and I think he believed because he told my brother that recently. Sarah and I went to visit him yesterday evening. I was humbled by my grandpa's friend (or neighbour). He said that what is the point of visiting without gifts. I did not know what or how to answer. I wasn't affected by the fact that I went empty handed, but by the limited effort that I put in to meet his need. I know he would want us to visit more often and preferably at a earlier timing or have meals with him. We reached at 8pm and the last time I saw him was during CNY.=(

I tried to talk more with him but with my limited Teochew, I wasn't able to talk much. Sarah also tried her best to talk to him in Mandarin. In the end, we went back after 15 minutes... Through the chat, I found that he sleep at 9+ and wake up at 4+am and go for a stroll at 5am. I hope I can accompany him for a stroll at reservoir for fresher air in the early morning. Just like the times in my childhood when he brought my cousins and I to reservoir for a stroll.


In my heart, I wished that I have a car so that I could save time in travelling and I could also fetch my grandpa or grandma to places for meals or stroll. I was quite emotional as I pondered over these and for the fact that I spent little time with my family...

What are my primary responsibilities?

I wasn't sure whether I would buy a car but I did decide to plan more visits to my grandparents and be more sensitive to their needs (including my parents').

"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you." Exodus 20:12

Submit to all Authorities

Last sat morning Sarah and I planned to have outing with all shepherds in our cgs. Our plan to exercise was changed due to the morning rain and the fact that some of us couldn't wake up in time... hmm.. meeting up in the morning seems not easy.. Nevertheless it will not stop me to arrange more morning meet up. I guess as long as everyone makes the effort, there will be 1 day, we can meet in some reservoir and have a nice cool time doing devotion and worship while immersing in God's creation. Jesus also went up to the mountain early in the morning. Though we don’t have mountains in sg, we can settle for reservoirs or hills. =)We had a good chat and sharing over breakfast and went to Arcade together.

When we were at the arcade, one of the staff disallowed a brother’s entry because he was wearing a school T-shirt. We argued that he is already working and that was a university T-shirt but the staff said that even an older man came in wearing that T-shirt, he will not be allowed entry too.



We tried to cover up the logos with cardigan but the staff said that this was lying. So in the end, the brother went to buy a change of clothes just to go to arcade to play. I think that it is quite absurd because the intention of the law was to keep students out when they aren’t supposed to be there. We are all working adults and we can easily provide our working passes to verify.

But as I reflect, I thought we should apologize and abide by the rules. Jesus asked us to submit to all authorities. The staff was just doing what was told. And if officers were to make spot check, they are answerable for it. How far are we willing to fight the case with them if we were the “culprits”?

In conclusion, do not wear old school T-shirt when you are out with friends. You never know when they might decide to go arcade and you get chase out by the staff. =p

"Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men.." 1Peter 2:13.

Every word, every sentence has 3 possible meanings

Aiya I didn't have time to update my blog during the weekend. Nevertheless, I shall put in 3 entry to make up for it.. haha..

I learnt something amusing last friday. I arranged to meet up some sisters to go SMU for cg gathering. I sms them to meet at Dhoby Ghaut NEL station control at 730pm. To me, I thought I have already make it very clear. (Dhoby Ghaut has 2 station, North-South and NEL. NEL station has a few gantry and there is one next to station control, one in front of Plaza sg entrance and another smaller one nearer to staircase and escalator that will lead to the underpass to North south line station.)

One sister called me to ask me which exit I am referring to. I said NEL station control and she asked me whether it is the Plaza Sg exit. I said "no, it is the NEL station control exit". And it went on for some time and finally she concluded that it is the plaza sg exit. I realised that the exit she meant was not the gantry exit but the exit from MRT platform.

Another sister called me to tell me that she is at the station control and she didn't see anyone. I told her that I was at NEL station control. In the end, she was waiting at the Plaza sg gantry area near top up/ticketing machine. To her, that was also the station control...

Another sister called me and said that she reached the station control and I realise she was at the north south line station control. I think she didn't know that there is another station control at NEL side.

I didn't expect my seemingly clear sms can have so many different interpretations. I read an article by Lee Kuan Yew and I learnt that every word or sentence has 3 possible meanings: What the speaker intend to mean, what the hearer understands it to mean, and what it is commonly understood to mean. I have seen it happened last friday. Haha..

I guess even if all of us seek to look at the words and sentences as it commonly understood to mean, there could be differences already... No wonder alot of conflicts are caused by miscommunication or misinterpretation. I had my fair share of it with my wife too. Whenever we realised that we were angry because of different interpretation, we laughed at ourselves, at how silly we were to get into arguement because of that.

Starting a habit again

I am feeling the dread to follow my exercise and eating regime. I started to exercise this week again after taking a rest last week because of my flu. I wanted to exercise on Mon, wed and fri lunch time; and after my exercise, I will eat minimally like having a cup of milo with cereal and some biscuits. On top of that, I will eat minimally for the other meals, choosing to eat a smaller portion and choosing noodles or bee hoon over rice for lunch. I also told my mum that I wouldn't mind a few slices of bread for breakfast and less rice for dinner... I am stopping myself from eating more than I should. So my guiding principle is to eat to ease my hunger and not to be full (learnt from an article from Newspaper). All good food now has to stop when the signal comes... sob, sob
All these for the purpose of losing weight and staying healthy. My weight has passed the ideal range even though I don't look overweight (kept assuring myself that it is my heavy bones not my fats) I learnt that in order to lose weight, I have to take in lesser calories and exercise to shed more calories. I need to keep a minimum calories input daily if not my body might decide to store more fats when I eat again thinking that famine might happen again... haha what a great creation.. So dieting isn't a good choice... Plus I want a healthy body so I need to take in what it needs.
The result after 4 days, my weight seems to drop a few hundred grams... haha.. good start..but it isn't easy to keep this regime.. The weight loss will be significant initially but I expect it to be lesser after a while. I hope I can still persevere on. The last time I tried this regime, I managed to shed 2-3kg... That was before my wedding.. I regained those after my flu, honeymoon and CNY. So sad... Praying for God's strength as I try my best to take care of this temple of God. Friends, do stop me if you find me indulge in food unnecessarily. My wish is to lose 10kg

True Spirituality

What is True Spirituality?
Spirituality is about bringing ourselves entirely under the lordship of Christ. It has to do with how we put Christianity into practice in our day to day lives.

As God's representatives on earth, we are to put our spirituality into practice by demonstrating his reality to people who do not know Him, and bringing glory to His name through our lives and conduct, not only in "spiritual" matters, but also in our everyday responsibilities. We are also to view people as God views them, and to live according to the principles of His word.

These are something that I learnt from Hope Sem. I am glad that I signed up for this Christian Ethics seminar. These are part of the basis that form a framework to help me make God honouring decisions. =)
With this framework, it will be easier for me to explain why I do the things I do and to give an answer to my faith too. YEAH!! So first step is to practice and practice!

As I am pondering over this question about true spirituality, I can't help to be reminded of a brother, Yeu Ann. He is a creation pathway person. He always expressed his awe for God when immerse in nature. That is not all, sometimes he would share how he was filled with awe and how he felt so loved by God when reading certain verses in the bible. Recently, he shared alot on rainbows in his blog. How these rainbows reminded him of God and His covenant with us. God is so real and personal to Yeu Ann.
So envy... I want to have that kind of relationship with God as well.

Tough to be a teacher

Being a teacher(of any sort) aren't easy especially when the expectations on you are more than what you can handle. Cases like parents coming to you complaining about their child's behaviour or results aren't satisfactory because of you. Pushing the blame to the teacher and not acknowledging the child's responsibility or in some cases play down the child's responsibilities and actions. Personally I am not a teacher (though my wife is), I am not speaking on behalf of my wife but recently I received a feedback on how my communication led to a misunderstanding. I was quite angry about this because it sounds like I am at fault when I was not the one who cause it. However, through the strengthening of the Holy Spirit, I manage to humble myself to receive the feedback and accept the weakness that I had. I am imperfect and I know my communication isn't my strength. I thank God that I have people around me whom I can discuss about things and help me to sharpen my perspective and communication. One of such person is my dearest wife, Sarah. Others will be Dehua, Eugene and Guofeng when I have the chance to talk to them. =)
During this episode, the devil initially has a better hand of making me think of giving up to teach what is right especially to pple who don't readily listen to my advice. And causing me to feel right to be angry. I kept praying for peace in my heart and humility to accept the feedback and to acknowledge my flaws. And finally, the love of God won this victory. I was reminded about Jesus' love for us. Jesus did manage to die on the cross despite the insults and harsh treatment he received from the people He intended to save. It really takes greater love to continue to love despite the resistance, the treatment and hurtful comments.
I know I can only do this with the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. I want to strive to do better in my communication, I will want to clarify till my message is through and I will continue to pray for humility to receive feedbacks and to know myself better. Thank God for this experience too. =)

My First Blog Entry

I have been a consumer of other people's blog for a long time. =) I guess it is time for me to start one. I thought this is a good idea to share my thoughts and my life to all my friends and visitors to my blog. I pray that I will be faithful to update it regularly. I do not want to start this and MIA after that...
Friends, remind me to update my blog if it is dominant for too long. And for those who are better in english, please give me all your feedbacks so that I can improve my english. I was inspired by those beautifully written blogs and I want to write like them... =)
Last of all, I hope you will be encouraged by my blog as well and you will post comments and feedback on it. =)